Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you inspire me to be a worse person
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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