This is not my ceiling
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
