if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
