You don't have asthma, your pregnant
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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