Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize