I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
