remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
