new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
