I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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