All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
