He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
