you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
