For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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