When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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