Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
