We are two peas in an std pod
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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