My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
