White coat. Heels.
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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