It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
