we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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