i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
