your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
