She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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