The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize