Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
