mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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