is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
