he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
