it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
