She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
