Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
