OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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