she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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