Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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