but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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