went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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