He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize