Duck Duck Cougar?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
