Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
