the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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