i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Found your dick twin last night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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