She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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