fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
