I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
