Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
do nipples grow back?
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