Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
