and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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