This girl is more easily done than said...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
