I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
