Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
