You can't motorboat a personality
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
