Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
