The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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