dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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