Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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