Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
