There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
